Faith in weakness

To often, we fall prey to the temptation that faith originates in our hearts and minds when in fact it is itself a grace - a gift from God. Falling to this temptation makes us think that we need to summon up faith all by ourselves, especially when we seem least able to do so. That makes faith hard, very hard, to possess. 

It has helped me immensely in my life to remember that I am not the author or source of my faith in God. When something bad happens, so unjust, so terrible that my heart just sinks to the floor and seems not able to rise, I am grateful that it is not within my own strength to summon faith. We don't make it ourselves; God gives it to us. 

Our pain may be such that it paralyzes our hearts, but faith endures because it is not a human creation, but a gift from God. It comes to us precisely at the places in which we need it most. I do not know why things happen the way they do, but I know from experience that God can yet bring life out of the silence and darkness of death. When in the grip of sorrow or any spiritual desolation, we might doubt God's presence in a profound way. Nonetheless, while we may remain paralyzed, it is God that moves, and once we feel that movement, the possibility of joy becomes real again.